Tears of Grief
by Miss Katyana
Summary: Misaki is about to die and Usagi is faced with the dark prospect of life without the person he loves. Warning: Boyxboy, character death. Rated T just in case I really suck at naming titles T.T ...


A/N: I got the idea for this crazy fanfiction from a dream I had not quite long ago. Please, please, please read and review! I apologize if it's the sappiest fanfiction I ever wrote but hey, it came from a dream after all! 0.0 I admit I've never written anything like this before.i admit that I'm not such a huge fan of Junjou Romantica but I still like the storyline, thanks to a couple of "friends" who introduced me to it a long time ago…(I still wouldn't admit that I like it in front of them.) Review and favourites are greatly appreciated. :)

WARNING: Character death. Boy x boy. (Please do not read if you can't stand either of these two things!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

Usagi wrapped his arms tightly around Misaki as if he never wanted to let go. Only after sice he discovered Misaki's hidden disease did he realise just how fragile and breakable his young lover was. Usagi felt the sharp bones of Misaki's shoulder and his thin body shivering even under the layer of blankets.

It was a very cold, bitter night with the harsh wind howling outside and icy rain rattling the window pane as if it was trying to get inside to where they were. Instinctively, Usagi drew Misaki closer towards his chest, his warm breath ghosting over Misaki's lips. He suddenly remembered the long, cold lonely nights when he had to sleep alone in bed without Misaki's familiar warmth next to him. Those were the times when Misaki was undergoing his treatment at the hospital. It pained Usagi to think of Misaki alone all by himself in a bland, white hospital bed, hooked up to a seemingly endless array of machines and with no one to stay with him or at least comfort him while he was scared. Usagi bit his lip, trying to block out the sad memories from his mind.

Usagi and Misaki lay on the bed, tangled up in each other as if no one could separate them. Usagi shifted his position so that his lips were resting on Misaki's forehead while his hands stroked Misaki's hair gently. Misaki pressed his cheek against Usagi's chest. He seemed to be thinking of his next words very carefully. Suddenly, talking aloud to the person he loved and sharing his feelings didn't seem so awkward now that he was running out of time. The doctors had already said that his disease was uncurable after all. Misaki pressed his hand against Usagi's broad chest, feeling his heart beating in time with his own. The sound of his strong, healthy heart beating rythmically against his fingers comforted Misaki slightly, reassuring him that at least one of them was well. He listened to Usagi's steady heartbeat for a while before he spoke, voice hushed and quiet, so different from his normal tone.

"Usagi-san, you should probably forget all about me if I die."

Usagi looked outraged. He pushed a dark lock of hair off Misaki's forehead and kissed him there. Misaki felt Usagi's warm lips slide down to his mouth where he planted a firm but rather punnishing kiss. As if he couldn't believe Misaki would say such a thing. When they finally pulled apart, Usagi whispered, "No. Never."

"I'm serious. Maybe it's best if you just let go of me."

"Misaki, you're the most precious thing in my life right now and I don't ever want to lose you. But whatever happens, I would never, ever forget you. Not even if you die."

Misaki cuddled Usagi close and a slight chill of fear passed through him at the thought of never being able to hold him that close ever again caused him to grip the older man even tighter.

"Usagi-san…I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of what would happen if I…you know…"

"Misaki, I…"

"Do you think it will hurt?"

Usagi brushed his thumb lightly over Misaki's lips gently. He carefully kissed Misaki's temple and ran his fingers through Misaki's brown hair affectionately.

"No. it wouldn't hurt at all, I swear." He was trying to reassure Misaki but his voice was shaky.

"How do you think this will end for me?"

Usagi paused.

"Happy, very happy. You'll be at a wonderful new place without any suffering or pain and you can see your parents too. You'll get to see everyone you've lost. You'll be very happy there, I know." Usagi ruffled Misaki's hair, smiling.

Misaki shrugged off Usagi's hand with a rather funny expression on his face. He looked as though he was trying to restrain a smile. He took Usagi's large, warm hands in his and laughed, "That's the biggest load of crap I ever heard."

Usagi grinned. Misaki apparently had not lost his rather shrewd sense of humour. Usagi twined his fingers gently through Misaki's and murmured, "But I know you'll have a happy ending, Misaki."

MIsaki smiled sadly at the older man. "You really think so?"

Usagi kissed Misaki's forehead again. "Yes, and if you're not happy there, God will have to answer to me."

"You can't fight God. Or fate, you know," Misaki pouted slightly before pressing his cheek against Usagi's chest. He was silent for a few minutes before he blushed and tugged at Usagi's arm. He put his lips to the man's ear and whispered,

"I won't be happy."

"Why not?"

"B-because you wouldn't be there with me. I'll miss you a lot."

Usagi sighed quietly and said, "I'll miss you more."

They fell silent, and without a word, Usagi beggan kissing Misaki. He knew it might be the last time he could experience the feeling of Misaki's warm lips on his ever again. When someone you really love is close to death, you can feel it in your heart. Or at least Usagi can anyway. It was this unique bond between the two of them that kept them connected to each other in every way possible.

Usagi's hands roamed all over Misaki's body and for the first time, Misaki didn't cry out or yell, "Stop it, you homo!"Time was running out anyway.

Usagi pushed Misaki's hair back and that was when Misaki said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?"

"For..for never being truthful about my condition and never saying how much I love you before."

Usagi kissed misaki's mouth again in the darkness and sad, "Doesn't matter. I love you, Misaki. I always will."

In the dark, Usagi carressed the side of Misaki's face with his gentle fingers and felt something warm and wet trickiling down. Tears. Usagi leant in and licked the dorlets of tears that were slowly making their way down Misaki's cheeks. He tasted Misaki's grief and fear in each droplet and his heart was filled with even more pain, grief and love for Misaki.

"Stay with me, please. I…don't want to be alone." Misaki's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. Don't be scared, Misaki."

"Can you hold my hand, Usagi-san?"

Their fingers laced together in the darkness and Usagi kissed Misaki's mouth one last time.

"I love you," Usagi whispered the three simple words efortlessly.

"I..I…l-love you too."

"Don't forget me."

"Why would I?" Misaki's words were beginning to slur and his heartbeat falterd.

But usagi kept holding onto Misaki's hand until it slowly turned ice-cold in his grip, until Misaki's eyes slowly closed and he failed to wake up ever again.

Till death do us part.

Usagi buried his face in his hands and cried softly next to the lifeless body of Misaki, the person he cared for and loved the most in his life. The person who Usagi promised to protect and love for eternity….

And now that person was gone forever.


End file.
